Disciples

Matthew 10 - 12

I LOVE reading these chapters. It's like getting a front row seat to learn what it really means to be a disciple of Christ. He leads by example and shows and tells them what to do and how to follow Him.

In chapter 10, I feel like Jesus is mostly warning His disciples. He is telling them that they WILL encounter persecution, they WILL encounter suffering and division. I listened to a couple messages recently about suffering and both pastors were saying that if you don't encounter persecution in your life, then something may be wrong. That doesn't mean that we have to invite it in and seek after suffering, but that is something Jesus says will accompany a walk with Him. BUT, he also promises this:

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it"

I want to find my life....and Jesus says that the only way to do that is to lose my life for his sake, so that is what I will do.

In chapter 12, what really struck me was the Pharisees reaction to Jesus. He's walking around teaching and performing miracles, and they question him. They try to pick out things that he is doing wrong, things that are "unlawful". Jesus disagrees with what they say and he heals a man on the Sabbath. In response, the Pharisees went out and plot how to kill him.

As I read this, I was trying to figure out why they rejected him and why they were so shaken by him. Then, I thought about myself and why some of the things Jesus says and does shake me and make me so uncomfortable. For me, I think it's because I don't want to give up control. I have my own idea of what life should be like, how people should act, and what Jesus should be. We all do because we're human. But, I don't want to be like the Pharisees...I don't want to reject the things of Jesus because it offends me or makes me uncomfortable. Instead, I want to offer those parts of my heart and mind to Him and allow Him to break them down and renew them. I know that thinking and loving like Jesus is going to look and be different than what we see most of the time all around us.

Following Jesus is a risk. We are guaranteed to be persecuted and we have to die to ourselves. That doesn't sound all that great. So is this risk worth taking?? It seems like a gamble until you actually step out in faith and see that Jesus backs up everything He says. He DOES give abundant life, He DOES meet all our needs, He is who He says He is.

I would rather take the risk and gain life.

Your Love Never Fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good.

Revolution

Jesus is a revolution. He is doing a revolutionary movement in my heart and in my mind. These past few months have probably been some of the hardest months of my life. I have been in a mental struggle with myself and the Lord about who I am, who Jesus is, the security I have in God, and what life is all about. There have been times where I felt completely and totally lost and out of control. Now looking back on those times - I laugh knowing that its much better for God to be in control than for me to. The Lord has brought issues to the forefront of my mind that I need to deal with - the biggest of which is fear. I have lived many days of my life in fear - mostly fear of Satan because he is the driving force behind everything evil in this world. I see all of the destruction, depression, chaos, and confusion in the world and in myself and it scares me. It made me question the power of God and what the love of Christ would bring to a world controlled by darkness.

It has made me truly question to the depth what I believe about Christ, who He is and what He is capable of. I have questioned who I am and who I want to be and who the Lord made me to be. The conclusion that I have come to is that Jesus is Life. There is NOTHING that He can't handle. There is NOTHING that He can't save someone from. In the words of David Platt,

"...Satan not only acts within the sovereign permission of God but also ends up accomplishing the sovereign purposes of God....We have nothing to fear because God is sovereign" (Radical, pg. 173)

That will be the conclusion that I come to in every struggle of my life for the rest of my days. I am fully convinced that there is no other purpose in life than to be in love with Jesus Christ and live a life glorifying to Him. There is truly nothing else worth living for. I have wrestled and argued with God and been angry with Him and asked Him tons and tons of questions and what He proves to me every time is that He is the answer - He gives life abundantly. (Please note - that abundant life in Christ is very different than what the American definition of it would be) There is nothing in this world that compares to the love of Jesus. It breaks my heart to think of the tons and tons of people that have never felt complete and total love - and even better yet love from someone who knows EVERY detail about them - every failure, every sin, every victory, every thought.

He has given me the freedom to be the woman that He made me to be and to live in faith. In Jesus, there is freedom. There is not freedom apart from Christ. He IS the way, the truth, and the life. No matter how hard you try to find life apart from Him, you will never find it. There is only one way.

I have fallen in love with Jesus in a new way over the past few months. I feel closer to Him than ever before. I have exposed myself to Him and surrendered my heart and my mind and He is good enough to hold me securely in His hands. In exchange for my fears and sin, He gave me freedom.

My desire is to be completely consumed by Him and to live a reckless and radical life for Him. I know that a life lived for the purpose of His kingdom will bring more adventure, joy, and love than I could ever imagine. I also know that it will bring persecution and suffering......to this I say, bring it on because I trust in who God is. I mean, come on...He's GOD.

Things I am learning...

This is the verse that struck me today out of Romans:

"No, a man is a Jew if he is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a man's praise is not from men, but from God."
- Romans 2:29 -

The pieces of this that strike me the most are the following:

1. We are followers of Christ based on the circumcision of our HEARTS, not by the law. Yes, we are to be obedient to Jesus and follow what He says but the beauty of our relationship with Him comes with a huge dose of GRACE. We are incapable of following the law perfectly on our own. We NEED Him and He honors a submitted and surrendered heart.

2. Our praise comes from God. His praise and whispers to us should be what define us and what govern our thoughts towards ourselves. We can't let what other people and the world says about us to define how we feel about ourselves. Jesus LOVES us so we should love us. He made us.

In the book that I am reading right now - "The Furious Longing of God" by Brennan Manning, he encourages readers to take time everyday to stand with open hands lifted toward the sky and pray "Abba, I belong to You". That's it...it's that simple. It may seem silly or make me uncomfortable but I know the power that that tiny prayer could have over me.

I love Jesus. It is an adventure knowing Him and following Him. I'm more willing than ever to take that adventure on.

Our Hope

After thinking about this today, I think its pretty safe to say that...

We are hopeless without Jesus.

There is NOTHING that satisfies like He does. Every need of your heart and soul and mind is met by His perfect truth and grace.

It's ridiculous how much we avoid Him and run from Him and try to do things on our own. Every time it ends in exhaustion, not always failure because God is so good that He makes good out of anything. But it drains us and leaves us frail and empty, striving for more. My heart longs for more of Jesus, yet I am so resistent to abide in Him.

As soon as I spend time with the Lord, listening to Him and believing Him, things begin to make sense and fall in line and burdens begin to roll off me. It's CRAZY how He works, it truly is.

It's CRAZY that we're in communication with the Creator of the Universe and that He is IN LOVE WITH US.

If you don't know the Lord and have never spent time with Him, I beg you to do so. Even if you think you got your life figured out. Even if you're happy......you've never known what life can be if you haven't met the one who knows exactly what you need and how those needs can be met.

Meet your Maker.

2 Thessalonians

It's been a while.

2 Thessalonians 3:5

"Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ" (NKJV)

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God's love and Christ's perseverance" (NIV)

"May the Master take you by hand and lead you along the path of God's love and Christ's endurance" (Message)

"May the Lord lead your hearts into a full understanding and expression of the love of God and the patient endurance that comes from Christ" (NLT)

No matter how you say it, this brings me so much peace!! Because....it is what I need to be free and to live with all the life that God has given me and will continue to give me.

This is a season of breaking free and letting the Lord rule my heart which will guide me. It's time to stop thinking so much and dive in.

Thank you Jesus for starting to pry my fingers off of the control I've been holding on to for my whole life. Thank You for Your patience and Your love and Your peace and Your love that just keeps getting better and better as I see more of it. Thank You for adventure and for life and for my future husband who loves You so much and shows me these things daily.

I love You. It feels good to be back on here.

1 John 3

So I was planning on reading a few more chapters in 1 John and I read a few verses and came to these verses.

These verses are enough to meditate on for a lifetime I think.

3:16-18 - "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth. "

The greatest commandment is LOVE. Love comes in many different forms. People lay down their lives for others in many different ways. People serve others in many different ways. But the point is to do what God commanded us to do and love people. And not only that, but he is saying that it's not enough to just speak it....but sometimes actions speak louder than words!!

Aaron and I just finished reading the book, "Crazy Love" and theres a chapter in it that gives mini biographies of several believers who have just lived incredible lives devoted to following Jesus. After we read it, both of us just wanted to jump up and go out and do something of eternal importance. We wanted to serve and love and be Jesus to people who don't know Him.

Jesus wants us to be like that all the time. He wants us to live our lives for others with a sense of urgency. He LOVES us so intimately...and we should share that love with everyone around us.

Thank You Jesus for your undescribable love. I pray that Your love would pour out from me to everyone I encounter...because I can't do it on my own. But You are so good. Lord, put me in people's paths that You want to touch and speak to. Help me to live my life selflessly.