Disciples

Matthew 10 - 12

I LOVE reading these chapters. It's like getting a front row seat to learn what it really means to be a disciple of Christ. He leads by example and shows and tells them what to do and how to follow Him.

In chapter 10, I feel like Jesus is mostly warning His disciples. He is telling them that they WILL encounter persecution, they WILL encounter suffering and division. I listened to a couple messages recently about suffering and both pastors were saying that if you don't encounter persecution in your life, then something may be wrong. That doesn't mean that we have to invite it in and seek after suffering, but that is something Jesus says will accompany a walk with Him. BUT, he also promises this:

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it"

I want to find my life....and Jesus says that the only way to do that is to lose my life for his sake, so that is what I will do.

In chapter 12, what really struck me was the Pharisees reaction to Jesus. He's walking around teaching and performing miracles, and they question him. They try to pick out things that he is doing wrong, things that are "unlawful". Jesus disagrees with what they say and he heals a man on the Sabbath. In response, the Pharisees went out and plot how to kill him.

As I read this, I was trying to figure out why they rejected him and why they were so shaken by him. Then, I thought about myself and why some of the things Jesus says and does shake me and make me so uncomfortable. For me, I think it's because I don't want to give up control. I have my own idea of what life should be like, how people should act, and what Jesus should be. We all do because we're human. But, I don't want to be like the Pharisees...I don't want to reject the things of Jesus because it offends me or makes me uncomfortable. Instead, I want to offer those parts of my heart and mind to Him and allow Him to break them down and renew them. I know that thinking and loving like Jesus is going to look and be different than what we see most of the time all around us.

Following Jesus is a risk. We are guaranteed to be persecuted and we have to die to ourselves. That doesn't sound all that great. So is this risk worth taking?? It seems like a gamble until you actually step out in faith and see that Jesus backs up everything He says. He DOES give abundant life, He DOES meet all our needs, He is who He says He is.

I would rather take the risk and gain life.

Your Love Never Fails

You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night
But joy comes in the morning

And when the oceans rage
I don't have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me

Your love never fails

You make all things work together for my good.

Revolution

Jesus is a revolution. He is doing a revolutionary movement in my heart and in my mind. These past few months have probably been some of the hardest months of my life. I have been in a mental struggle with myself and the Lord about who I am, who Jesus is, the security I have in God, and what life is all about. There have been times where I felt completely and totally lost and out of control. Now looking back on those times - I laugh knowing that its much better for God to be in control than for me to. The Lord has brought issues to the forefront of my mind that I need to deal with - the biggest of which is fear. I have lived many days of my life in fear - mostly fear of Satan because he is the driving force behind everything evil in this world. I see all of the destruction, depression, chaos, and confusion in the world and in myself and it scares me. It made me question the power of God and what the love of Christ would bring to a world controlled by darkness.

It has made me truly question to the depth what I believe about Christ, who He is and what He is capable of. I have questioned who I am and who I want to be and who the Lord made me to be. The conclusion that I have come to is that Jesus is Life. There is NOTHING that He can't handle. There is NOTHING that He can't save someone from. In the words of David Platt,

"...Satan not only acts within the sovereign permission of God but also ends up accomplishing the sovereign purposes of God....We have nothing to fear because God is sovereign" (Radical, pg. 173)

That will be the conclusion that I come to in every struggle of my life for the rest of my days. I am fully convinced that there is no other purpose in life than to be in love with Jesus Christ and live a life glorifying to Him. There is truly nothing else worth living for. I have wrestled and argued with God and been angry with Him and asked Him tons and tons of questions and what He proves to me every time is that He is the answer - He gives life abundantly. (Please note - that abundant life in Christ is very different than what the American definition of it would be) There is nothing in this world that compares to the love of Jesus. It breaks my heart to think of the tons and tons of people that have never felt complete and total love - and even better yet love from someone who knows EVERY detail about them - every failure, every sin, every victory, every thought.

He has given me the freedom to be the woman that He made me to be and to live in faith. In Jesus, there is freedom. There is not freedom apart from Christ. He IS the way, the truth, and the life. No matter how hard you try to find life apart from Him, you will never find it. There is only one way.

I have fallen in love with Jesus in a new way over the past few months. I feel closer to Him than ever before. I have exposed myself to Him and surrendered my heart and my mind and He is good enough to hold me securely in His hands. In exchange for my fears and sin, He gave me freedom.

My desire is to be completely consumed by Him and to live a reckless and radical life for Him. I know that a life lived for the purpose of His kingdom will bring more adventure, joy, and love than I could ever imagine. I also know that it will bring persecution and suffering......to this I say, bring it on because I trust in who God is. I mean, come on...He's GOD.